imfallingforyou so dothesame for me too :)

This asshole tripped me less than 50 feet away from my building and tried to take my stuff. I'm aight this is my first confrontation basically ever in the city which is very very suprising.

Anyway I finally finished the painting i've been working on for over a month because i'm a lazy fool . go look at it it only takes like 10 seconds.
Tomorrow me and miranda are gunna go to the underpass at islais creek and take pictures...i hope we're safe.

In Human sexuality we watched a movie about the female reproductive system, it was really beautiful, a pregnant woman's amniotic fluid has the same concentration of salt in it as the ocean does. the brushing of fallopian tubes even looked like some slow moving graceful sea plant. 

To summerize everything that is made private lately; I've had a fuck buddy with a really nice penis and great eyes for two weeks now, i hate school, i like like brando he loves neon even more than i do, i've skinned my knees in the same place about 4 times now, i have second degree burns on my left arm, and i feel more and more like holden caulfield everyday.

good weekend, just confirmered everything i knew i needed to start doing and attitude to be had.
please lord, blesseth my effort to outreach through incredible sex thanks again i'll be nicer to my parents, oh please do let the vacation gods be friendly so they can go to mexico again soon. aaamen.

indeliberately she asked me too many questions,but she didnt say any of them outloud

i thought maybe i'd seen her somewhere, some mast on shipbeam growing out of wood maybe... or maybe it was just another time i'd spun some other dreamers tale out of seaweed rotting with gnats

a dream, neon, love, cigarettes, eternal, cars, hope, fuck, magic, radio, ancient, numb, memory, steak.

i hope she didnt get the wrong impression of me, she had this look her eyes like she was just getting used to being snubbed, stumbling around a but after the fall off of a spin on the carousoul

i buried my hands into her, sucked me in like quicksand, let her stained fingernails run through my hair, breathing in only to find myself come again to stagnant water. drip, drip, drip, each sigh made a ripple, each smile tried to die down the waves, each time i closed my eyes her face was more my own, changing, brightening up with sheer vivid warmth, so i held her closer, don't leave, not now, i opended them though only to find cold solid marble and hankering for something sharp.

bablyonia, shoes, cells, battery, god, goddamn it we're out of milk.

she left me with a crease in my forehead and a bittersweet taste in my mouth, i had to give her credit though for being part of the erosin

it left me nothing but a jagged face for some child to skip across the pond.

when i dont feel like myself, or i dont understand what self even is i try to calm myself with a drawing remind myself of where i came from, of volta magic that has somehow shaped the mightiest most equaisite thoughts that have swirled through my brain. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. either way doing, being, working, making, dancing, faking, everybody does it yeah?

i need to surround myself with more beautiful things so i can make more beautiful things. i also need to integrate my life into the city, i think once i get my biked revamped it'll be alot easier and i wont look like such a jackass once i do. gotta get back to just goodness mysticism dank new encounters and saving moneys for a car for exploring or a house for living.

i lost fiona's copy of fear and loathing shhhhhhh.

pros

- the walk from fruitvale bart was kind of beautiful
- booze in my body
- dancing to actually good music
- lookin cute
- macking/getting macked on
- pretty damn nice makin out
- toplessness
- the nice people i met were extremely chill and nice

cons

- brando didnt come :(
- julia didnt come :(
- booze in Amanda's body which gave her alcohol poisening
- losing track of what Amanda was doing and not really being able to help her out while she was literally passed out in a chair puking on herself
- not being able to get to the car on time with everyone else to get her to the hospital
- spending 3 hours in the hospital
- i wanst really hella into the guy i made out with (this is the 2nd day in a row this has happended mind you)
- feeling incredibly guilty because while my friend is vomiting all over herself, as i was getting topless
- feeling super incredibly stupid for making it a point in my night of telling Nasser to stop being hella awkward cuz its ~cool n shit~~~~ no, no, if i cared about as much as i did about it last night it most certainly is not
- feeling kind of slutty iunno
- feeling kind of like i might be no better than half the people at that party
- realizing that i atually really miss the comfort of being with someone that really truly truly cares

too horny and sugared up to do homework again :/

my figure drawing professor is officially a fox, completley appreciated me explaining my dream about him being part cyborg. Well, he wasnt officially a cyborg he just had this fleshly sort of cooler attached to his body that he kept supplies in but i mean come on how the fuck else do you explain that? The other reason I use the term cyborg is because he was wearing a loooonnnggg tattered red cape like tetsuo


and any cool kid knows tetsuo is part machine.

anddddd i told him to buy a cape like and he wuz like "omg how u know i dont has a closet full of thems" n i was lyke "i dont LOL" and he wuz like maybe "once i grow a flowing white beard" and i wuz "yea dat would compliment it well LOL DO MEEEEEE"

and he was playing concrete blonde at the end of class like come on dude, give me one good reason to not attack you right now. wkjdbqwjasljdnwjdnq longest entry in months :)

 note to self: never depend on somebody to get you through a crazy mdma/acid comedown that you've known for less than 2 days.